• I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
• If quitters never win, & winners never quit, what fool came up with "Quit while you're ahead"?
• What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
• I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
• I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Perhaps toothpicks?
• Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do... write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?
• If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?
• STRESSED spelled backwards is DESSERTS.
• You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
• Clones are people two.
• No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.
• As I said before, I never repeat myself!
• If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
• Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
• Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
• It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
• If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
• If women can have PMS, then men can have ESPN.
• When blondes have more fun, do they know it?

Received from Boyack11.

Added August 26, 1996