Men Jokes (I got these from a man)
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Female Revenge
Q: How many honest, intelligent, caring men in
the world does it take to do
the dishes? A: Both of them.
Q: Why did the man cross the road?
A: He heard the chicken was a slut.
Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A: They don't have time.
Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to
fertilize one egg?
A: They don't stop and ask for directions.
Q: What do men and sperm have in common?
A: They both have a one-in-a-million chance of
becoming a human being.
Q: How does a man show that he is planning for
the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer.
Q: What is the difference between men and
government bonds?
A: The bonds mature!
Q: Why are blonde jokes so short?
A: So men can remember them.
Q: How many men does it take to change a roll
of toilet paper?
A: We don't know; it has never happened.
Q: What do you call a woman who knows where
her husband is every night?
A: A widow.
Q: When do you care for a man's company?
A: When he owns it.
Q: Why are married women heavier than single
women?
A: Single women come home, see what's in the
fridge and go to bed.
Married
women come home, see what's in bed and go to
the fridge.
Q: How did Pinocchio find out he was made of
wood?
A: His hand caught fire.
Q: How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
A: Put the remote control between his toes.
Q: What did God say after creating man?
A: "I must be able to do better than
that."
Q: What did God say after creating Eve?
A: "Practice makes perfect."
Q: What is the one thing that all men at
singles bars have in common?
A: They're married.
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Man says to God: "God, why did you make
woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why
did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."
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* 1. I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde
jokes because I know I'm not dumb .... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
-Dolly Parton-
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* 2. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb
women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
-Erica Jong-
Added January 9, 2001
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