Women's Medications

D A M N I T O L

Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

ST. M O M M A'S W O R T

Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers
unconscious for up to two days.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N

Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of
how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved
out.

P E P T O B I M B O

Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an
evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence
and prevents conception.

D U M B E R O L

When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in
enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

F L I P I T O R

Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge
to flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N

Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such
lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... Can we get
naked now?"

B U Y A G R A

Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration
and credit limit of spending spree.

J A C K A S S P I R I N

Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday,
anniversary or phone number.

A N T I - T A L K S I D E N T

A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share
their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

N A G A M E N T

When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation level as
nagging him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it
herself

Added March 7, 2004

Back to Quotes, Stories & Jokes Main Page

http://linda6987.tripod.com